Help! I’m Stuck
I am so thankful to live in the vibrantly green, Pacific Northwest where long, rainy winters (usually a good chunk of falls and springs), all work together to bring us our gorgeous and fruitful summers. Along with the fertile soil, these same cloudy skies for many also create space for seasonal depression.
But let’s be real, you don’t need to live within months of cloudy days to find yourself in a gloomy headspace.
As the New Year stirs up hope and promise for many, I would like to recognize that this is not the case for everyone. Some are just crawling their way out of a lonely holiday season, just longing for the presence of loved ones. Others are deep in a ditch of disappointment or heartache from an unexpected event that has left them spinning and unsure of how to move forward. Many are lacking the foresight that things will get any better.
It is well known by now that for the majority, New Year's resolutions tend to waiver well before the first signs of spring. Whether you are full of hope and just aiming for some consistency and rhythms in your life this year, or you are wrapped up tight in a blanket of winter blues or literal depression- I want to encourage you, that it is okay to start small. In this case, it's better to start small, but just start somewhere! Just find one small thing that you can choose to be consistent with. You CAN do it! Don’t tell yourself that you can’t!
As this new year approached I knew there were many things that I wanted or at the very least needed to reestablish a routine with, but I found myself stuck in a pit of disappointment, lack of vision, purpose, and dare I say… a bit depressed. Depression is not a very promising guide. In my case, it was a clear indication that my vision fell too long onto my surrounding circumstances and putting weight on my own understanding as I tried to make sense of them.
I knew for sure if I filled in my pretty new planner with all the things I wanted or needed to be consistent with, I was sure to fail because of the state of mind I was in. However, I knew that was not the state of mind I wanted to stay in. Or at the very least was not where I have been designed to live. I had to first recognize this and that it was time to renew my mind as I began to notice that I had allowed toxic thoughts to creep in and take over. The first thought that I had to come against was the lie that said, “I can’t.” I had to reject that lie, replace it with truth, and then decide where to start. I decided to start with ONE thing with the hope that as I gained some consistency, it would build some momentum and confidence to add in the next thing.
Here is what my goals did NOT look like;
Read the Bible every day/ follow Bible Recap
Drink the appropriate amount of water each day
Go to bed on time and get an earlier start on the day
Get movement / exercise each day
Begin and finish both certification courses before the due date
Write everyday
Have the chapter turned in by March
Be consistent in therapy with my grandson
Be more intentional at making Jesse feel valued
Start homeschooling Evan
Start prayer group
Schedule coffee and consistency with certain people
Clean my house each day
Find a mate for my dog
Schedule the appointments that have been put to the wayside
Start and maintain my blog
Here is what it DID look like;
Read the Bible in chronological order in a year with Bible Recap.
THAT’S IT. I picked my ONE. And that is where I started.
As this became part of my day and gave me a sense of rhythm, I added in therapy with Roca at a specific time most days.
After I got into that rhythm I realized that though I had been reading the bible every day, I hadn’t spent time engaging with the Lord through prayer and worship, and I was feeling it, and so was my family, therefore, that became my next thing.
And then, as I gained momentum, homeschooling, exercise, and writing all began in the same week.
I knew ahead of time that I needed to have grace for myself to have success to even start. If I am disappointed in myself right from the beginning, it is sure to feel like failure. Especially when dealing with a negative mindset. I desired momentum and for me, it was the ONE thing at a time that propelled me forward into the next. Like climbing a ladder. Just start with the first rung. Show yourself that you can do it. And pay attention to the negative thoughts that attempt to sabotage your efforts. Thoughts are fuel. Fuel to hopelessness and despair or fuel to joy and promise. Be careful the fire you are feeding.
If you can’t think of where to start or are just looking for some ideas, here is a list of things to help prime the pump so to speak. To help you find your ONE thing to get started. Or perhaps you haven’t been fighting the blues and you are just ready to add something new into your routine- that’s awesome!! Either way, I am rooting for you!
